Finding your personal power

If you ever have the opportunity to sit down with someone and chat with them to help them discover who they truly are and what their avocation is… not their “job,” but their passion, their meaning for living, I VERY highly recommend it. I'm constantly surprised by the power that resides inside of others and how they are utilizing it.

As a Certified Professional Coach, I am blessed to see people move from their challenges to a point of celebration in their lives.  I am able to assist women professionals in maximizing their skill sets in order to move ahead in a world that still has a glass ceiling.  I am able to sit with people, find out what their strengths and challenges are, and help them mold and transform their lives in order to play to both.  I've also recently witnessed the personal power of an immigrant, challenged by the American culture and processes, yet finding his way and successfully maneuvering what he can to make a difference for others. I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to boldly claim that I have found my personal power, and it wasn’t always an easy path.  I’m also fortunate because I am able to assist others in finding their personal power. 

In finding your personal power, the first obstacle most, if not all, of us face is our own inner voice telling us “No you can’t” when in reality, we should be boldly stating “Yes I Can!”  In claiming your personal power, first off, we MUST learn to silence that little voice.

While this may be opportunistic, I’ve got to take the opportunity to push my book a little here.  “STOP Talking to Me” teaches its readers to stop the inner critic and learn to carry on a constructive, positive conversation in your mind. 

Once we get the inner critic quieted, we can REALLY get to work. 

-Be kind and gentle with yourself.  We are equipped to handle whatever is handed to us at the moment.  You’re going to fall sometimes… you’re human.  Rather than being your own worst critic, become the captain of your very own cheer squad. 

-Learn what it is you stand for.  Someone once said, “You’ve got to believe in something or you’ll fall for anything.”  This is so, so true.  What do YOU believe in?  We can start with faith and move on from there.  Where do you stand on your important issues?  What are your “buttons”?  What is it that gives your soul the strength to rise and fight for another?  I never condone violence, but in order to feel passion, we’ve got to understand what makes us passionate.

-Once you find out what you stand for, back it up.  Be true to yourself.  Be who you are without compromise.  This may involve making some scary changes in your life, but so be it.  Don’t be a poser, be true to you.

-Don’t allow people to push your buttons.  You control your emotions.  YOU control the buttons.  It’s tough to learn to put the safety shield on your emotions, but it’s necessary.  If the buttons do get pushed… never let ‘em see you sweat. 

-EDUCATE YOURSELF

o   What are your needs?

o   What brings you joy?

o   What causes you fear?

o   Take a workshop, class or seminar on ANYTHING that brings you joy.

-Do your best always.  You are a work in progress, appreciate it and learn to live within those boundaries. 

We are each born with a “God-spark”.  All of us are perfect in our own ways and exactly as we are meant to be right now.  Far too many of us have given in to the urge and gotten into the habit of ignoring who and what we truly are.  You are the most powerful person in your life… simply reach out and claim it to be true.

Remember to spend some quality time on you.

www.lynnzettler.com

Why Do I Do This?

How often do you sit alone in a room or in your vehicle and ask yourself, “Why do I do this?  Why do I make the mistakes I make over and over again?  Why do I continue to go back to a job that leaves me wanting something bigger in life?  Why do I not sign up for the classes that I know will propel me towards my goals?”

Why do I refuse to accept that my fears of success, as well as failure, hold me back? 

Why do I do this?  Why do I not make the changes necessary to move me ahead?  Why do I not accept that I am able, and more importantly, worthy of the greatness each of us are worthy of? 

FEAR.  I found a quote by Roseanne Cash when I started writing this article that says, “The key to change is to let go of fear.”  How true is that?  How much do we NOT accomplish in our day to day lives because we hold onto fear like a favorite Teddy Bear or old T-Shirt?  Sometimes it’s simply easier to cling to the fear that holds us back than it is to let go and trust that we can do what we’re destined to do. 

It’s normal to sit back and ask, “Why do I do this?”  I’ve asked myself as well.  

That's the question I asked myself when I realized that I wanted to start a coaching business six years ago and founded (www.lynnzettler.com).  I still ask myself that question, but the answer is now that I want to be the Personal Executive and Business Coach who specializes in accelerating growth for clients who want more from their business, their team and their life.

I do what I do now because:

-        I have faith that if people desire changes in their lives and if they have someone to believe in them, they can accomplish just about anything. 

-        I believe that with someone in your corner to help analyze where you are in life and identify the areas you wish to see change, you will be the change that you want to see in the world. 

-        If you can discover that which brings your life the greatest sense of accomplishment and make THAT your reality and challenge you to be your absolute best, you can in turn set an example for others.  

My journey hasn’t always been easy.  It took some ups and downs to figure out where I wanted to be.  When I ask myself now, “Why do I do this?” I can answer with a great deal of certainty that I do this to help others find what I’ve found. 

Why do you do what you do?  I'd love to hear.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com

The Art of Listening

“Are you listening to me?”  How many times have we been asked this question?  If you are like me and the vast majority of other people, you’ve been asked this or some semblance of it more than several times during the course of your adult life.  We all want to be heard.  We all want people to listen to US when we’re speaking, but how much effort do WE put into listening to OTHERS? 

I read an article that stated we only hear (understand or comprehend) 25% - 50% of what is said to us.  That means we discount or ignore the remaining 50% - 75%.  How do we go about listening to others?  How do we go about having our audience listen to us? 

1. We have only one mouth and two ears.  We should be doing twice as much listening as talking.  I’d like to take credit for that, but everyone reading this would know I was being more than dishonest if I said that was my original thought.  The first step to perfecting the art of listening is closing your mouth and opening your ears.  Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? 

2. When appropriate, paraphrase what is being said. This may be a little tougher to learn to do because if it’s done in excess, you may appear to be patronizing the person with whom  you're having a conversation.  Being able to paraphrase only what is important is a fine talent to hone. It also ensures that you're on the same page!

3. Lean in to listen.  Body language says an awful lot.  If you’re leaning back in your seat, slumped over, eyes gazing everywhere but on your conversation partner(s), it’s obvious you are not listening.  Don’t invade the other person’s space but lean in a bit and and maintain eye contact. 

4. Nod now and then or give some signal of recognition.  This simply lets the other person know that you are paying attention.  It indicates a level of engagement that isn’t over the top. 

5. Keep in mind that with the vast amount of knowledge you hold, the person with whom you are speaking has a vast amount of knowledge as well.  Deep down, we’re all looking out for ourselves…what can you gain from the other person?  If you are only half listening, you’re missing out on valuable insights. Don't focus on your response, instead, really listen to them.

6. Slow down.  Think before you speak.  Think before you act. 

7. Ask others if they believe you are a good listener.  Find out why they do or do not believe you are a good listener.  Be prepared to be knocked back on your hind end if you believe you are a good listener, though.  If, or when, someone shares with you that you could use some improvement, LISTEN to the feedback. 

8. Ask questions when appropriate.  If you’re confused about something, you appear far more engaged if you politely ask questions to clarify.  This will save face in the long run in many ways. 

9. Be patient.  Allow the other person to complete her thoughts.  So often we believe that we can complete the thoughts for the other person.  Not only is this rude, it can be hurtful to the other person. 

10. Find someone to help teach you to listen.  Monet picked up a brush and started creating wonderful works of art, but I’d be hard pressed to believe that he never stepped into a classroom to learn a bit about technique.  Even the greatest artists had lessons from someone. 

All of us are born with innate talents and gifts.  Unfortunately, the vast majority cannot count listening as one of our talents without hard work and a dedication to being a better listener.  When in doubt, think back to the anatomy of your head… two ears, one mouth.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com

Notice the Little Things

It's almost summer and it always makes me realize the amazement of the circle of life.  Each winter, we watch trees and animals crawl into hibernation.  We lock ourselves in our homes, turn up the thermostats, and grumble while we wait for spring. 

Once spring is sprung, we look around in amazement at all the changes in colors and sounds.  The world suddenly looks cleaner and crisper, but it’s not really “all of a sudden”.  It’s not an overnight metamorphosis.  The change is small and gradual over a 3 month span.

The ground warms a bit, the soil thaws.  The trees warm a bit, the buds sprout.  The days grow longer, the animals start their birds and bees--you know what I mean… tiny steps lead to an amazing orchestra of sights, sounds and scents that tickle our senses each and every year.  The same holds true in our own lives if we take the time and are aware enough to notice the little things. 

As adults, we assume so often that we’ve “maxed” out our abilities. We’ve reached the end of our roads and we’re not going to move ahead any further.  When I talk to folks who hold this opinion, I’m struck with a sense of challenge and a small bit of sadness (the challenge almost always overrides the sadness, however.)  We forget that we weren’t born running, reading, or working math problems.  We forget that our journey through life is a culmination of little things making up a larger package that we present to the world. 

When was the last time you noticed any of the following: 

-Your spouse made lunch for you? You made lunch for your spouse?

-Your children did a little extra chore… without being asked?

-You straightened a tie for a loved one?

-You held a door for someone?

-You gave a flower to a random person?

-You bought a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line at McDonalds?

Remember the movie “Pay It Forward”?  The entire theme of the movie was doing kind acts for others because it comes around.  Taking pride in little things is very much the same… when notice and appreciate the little things, we realize there are a WHOLE LOT of little things and voila, suddenly we have a life of filled with gratitude. 

Each of us can find something to be grateful for within ourselves, our children or our communities.  With the recognition of the little achievements, we're motivated to look a little deeper and with kinder eyes at those around us. 

The electronic disconnection experiment

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1152

We just returned from a 10 day vacation with the kids.  Traveling together can be a challenge when you ask for 6 internet passwords for one villa.  It becomes apparent very quickly as you are all staring at eachother across from your laptops, that this is not what vacation is meant to be.  So Mark and I did our best to electronically disconnect and implement some teachings from Timothy Ferriss who wrote The 4-Hour Workweek, including disconnecting from e-mail and embarking on a low information diet.  Here's what happened:

• Mark totally disengaged from answering e-mails for 7 days, then batched his e-mail and took care of over 600 e-mails in just 2.5 hours.  If he would have been keeping up with mail daily, it would have seriously eaten into his vacation time and his enjoyment.  There wasn't a single message that required an immediate response.  We've grown accustomed to treating e-mail like it's a dialogue or instant message.  We need to use it more effectively and for what it was meant to be used for.  His next step is to attempt this during the work week as well.  He figures that taking care of daily e-mail has prevented him from working on higher priority work.  The experiment will continue...

• I don't get nearly as many e-mails as Mark, but I have turned off my e-mail notification sound and my automatic e-mail retrieval.  I now have to manually download new e-mail and have been attempting to do this twice a day, and never on the weekends.   One of the rules of Timothy Ferriss is never to check your e-mail first thing in the morning.  It distracts you from what you want to accomplish that day.  Do your big work first and check e-mail at lunch and towards the end of the day.  I have found this to be very true.  Again, there is no e-mail that cannot wait a few hours.  I didn't miss any big, fantastic job opportunities or critical communications.  Mostly I missed a lot of junk mail and a few clients who needed rescheduling.  I was still able to get the rescheduling done within the desired time frame and respond to those that needed a response.

• Our low news diet prevented us from knowing:
• Who won the Indy 500 immediately.
• Whether Sarah Palin has finally announced whether she'll run for President.
• About the storms coming through Indy and whether our house was injured (what are we going to do about it from Mexico anyway?)
• About the twisters in the midwest and the damage and human cost they caused.
• That Lindsay Lohan was placed on house arrest.
• That Libyan general and soldiers defected to Italy.
• That Lady Gaga was on The View.
• What happened on Oprah's last show.
• Who was selected as the next American Idol.

As you can see, nothing that really affected us in any real and immediate way.   Amazing!  Let the experiment continue!  We had a great time.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com

The side effects of goals

I know I have always been a big proponent of goals and I still am.  However, I am also aware that at times, we set goals for the wrong reasons or we have others set goals for us.  Goals can lead to unethical behavior according to Daniel Pink in his book Drive.  Think about the financial scandals of recent years and the executives who overlooked long term gains, checked the box for the short term goal and hit the earnings target for their company, only to have the whole house of cards come down later.

When targeting your personal goals:

• Make sure it is your goal and not someone else's.
• Make the goal for the right reasons--to stretch your personal and professional growth or mastery of something.
• Is it a 'check the box' goal?  If so--replace it with something more meaningful.

Is there still a Good Ole Boys Club?

Yeah… If you ask most women they will say that unfortunately, there is still a Boys Club in the business world.

According to an article in USA Today from 4/14/2010, fifteen percent of board members for Fortune 500 companies are women (only 3% of the women are actually CEO’s).   In the United States, there is a 23% deficit between women and their male counterparts in salary (http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/2010-04-15-column15_ST1_N.htm). 

In 2005, Washington State became the first to elect a woman Governor.  Of the top 73 publicly held companies, less than one in five senior level jobs are occupied by women.  (http://www.seattlepi.com/specials/glassceiling/292359_glassceiling-main15.html). 

In Indianapolis, we are fortunate to have a company that holds a female CEO, 43 percent of senior management is female, and a female workforce which is 67 percent female.  These statistics allow WellPoint to earn a ranking as one of the best companies in the world for female executives (http://www.indy.com/posts/wellpoint-on-top-10-list-for-female-executives).

So how do we, as women continue to grow and step into our success?  Do the good ole boys exist more in our heads than in reality?  The truth is women have some advantages:

1. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects women and other minorities from being discriminated against.  Gender can be considered to fulfill affirmative action requirements.  Women owned businesses are getting attention under the WBE designation for projects in Indianapolis and Indiana.

2. We can help our next generation of successful women:

·       Teach our daughters and other young women that they are worthy of the same salaries as their male counterparts, and be good role models.

·       Continue to pursue formal education to remain on a level playing field, or even pursue higher education to get ahead of the game. 

·       Talk the walk.  Yes, that IS what I mean.  There are women today with high profile positions, especially in politics, but they aren’t backing them up with strong intellect, learning and positive branding.  Yes, we have to work harder at it.  Let’s make sure we get it right!

·       Set the example to continuously improve and grow.  Attend workshops and conferences for leadership and management.  Read at least two business related books a year.  Stay on top of your game.  Always be a life long learner.  Don’t stop developing yourself once you have your degree in hand. 

·       Teach our daughters to take the moral higher ground and set the example.  Do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.  Teach them to set their standards high and not to settle. 

I am not male bashing here.  I love men.  In fact sometimes I recognize that women can be their own worst enemy when it comes to being successful.  We are very quick to bring a woman down!

As women, we’ve had to fight a good fight.  I’d like to say that the war is over and we need to embrace a new paradigm.  Instead of the good ole boys club, let’s take the gender out of it all together and call it the Success Club.  Let’s face it, a lot of men don’t like that good ole boys network either, and some of them can’t even get in it. 

Through development like Executive Leadership Coaching, Personal Life Coaching, reading books on Leadership, and attending professional and personal growth related conferences and workshops, we are already creating the new Success Club.  The more people we can sign up, the smaller the good ole boys will be!

www.your-personal-brand.com

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Websites for a sharing economy

As I'm writing this, I'm taking in my view of the ocean, which is partially blocked by two palm trees.  Mark and I laughed about the view, because I once was the recipient of such complaints, as the President of a condo association during a condo rebuild in Florida after Hurricane Ivan.  Blessed are the palm trees!  I'll take them any day!

I also have a little bird at my feet, eating my scraps of snacks I've left on the floor.  He's a brave little fellow and getting very close, but enjoying whatever I drop---ooops, he just dropped something unpleasant on the chair pad he hopped on!  There's always a price to pay, isn't there?

I've taken the day to catch up on my reading and made my way through three FAST COMPANY magazines and a TIME.  I've decided to write a white paper on leadership, and I want to pull as much as I can from the contemporary culture that I can. During my research, I found a great article about The Sharing Economy.  Did you know there are websites dedicated to help you find neighbors with power tools to borrow, to help you find a place (apartment or room) to stay in the city you're traveling to, trade books or find used kids clothes?  It's amazing and I just thought I'd share.  Check out the article, it's well worth the read, but here are some great websites that you might find useful in the sharing economy.

sharedearth.com  Links landowners to gardeners and farmers
thredup.com  Links you up to used kids cloths and toys that are age appropriate
zimride.com  Ridesharing for students and coworkers
airbnb.com  Rent other peoples homes, apartments, beds, boats, etc.
liquidspace.com  Finds available workspaces
relayrides.com  Insured car sharing with neighbors
taskrabbit.com  Finds someone to run the errand for you
neighborgoods.net  Connects you to neighbors to share household appliances, sporting goods, etc.
gobble.com  Meals from your neighborhood chefs
bookcrossing.com  Trade books with other readers 
freecycle.com  recycle your stuff to new owners

Enjoy!  The world is changing at a rapid pace, and a lot for the better!

www.your-personal-brand.com

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Give Your Best Interview

I'm sure it's no surprise that the job market has been in a state of flux over the past several years. The rate of unemployment as of January 2008 was 5.3% and sky rocketed to 11.5% as of January 2010.  It appears that things are coming under control, and as of January 2011, the unemployment rate for Indiana had dropped back to 9.5% and continues to drop (http://www.google.com/publicdata?ds=usunemployment&met=unemployment_rate&idim=state:ST180000&dl=en&hl=en&q=indiana+unemployment+rate).

So the good news for those looking for their next position is that there are more jobs.  Now, it’s time to get down to work and prepare to amaze the interviewer with your best interview each and every time you sit before a possible employer.

1. Be ready physically.  Be well rested.  It's best to maintain an exercise routine to help eliminate stress, and enhance your sleep.  Avoid drinking excessive amounts of caffeine prior to your interview.  Being jittery may cause you to appear as though you are lacking confidence. 

2. Read up on the company with which you are interviewing.  Do your homework.  In today’s day and age, not knowing something about the company can be a death sentence at an interview. It's competitive and you need to be the shining star.

3. Prior to the interview, sit quietly and visualize your success and your successful outcome.  Tell yourself that you are the best candidate for the position.  Visualize yourself giving insightful answers to questions and asking insightful questions in return.

4. Be prepared.  Wear comfortable clothing appropriate for the position, and Google your directions if you aren’t sure of the interview location.  Leave with plenty of time to allow for any traffic issues. 

5. Prepare some questions ahead of time for the interviewer.  Too often, we think because we are sitting in an interview, that it is taboo to ask questions.  Not so!  They want to know that you are interested and engaged in the process. 

6. Write out a list of your challenges and how you make the most of them.  On the flip side, make a list of your best assets and how they will benefit the position for which you are applying. 

Once preparations have been made for your interview, and the moment of truth has arrived, it’s go time.  Time to knock their socks off.  Time to shine.  Time to let the world know what you have to offer. 

-- Be yourself.  It’s easy to see past veneer and see what’s underneath.  Be true to yourself always. 

-- Expect unexpected questions.  Of course the basics will be covered:  What was your last position? What did you like the most/ least?  Yada-yada-yada…  Will you be asked questions such as “How many golf balls does it take to fill a 747?” or “If Hollywood made a movie of your life, who would you choose to play you?” or “If you could be a superhero, what powers would you have?”

It’s becoming more and more common for interviewers to throw out unusual interview questions in order to see how the interviewee handles the situation.  Are you going to panic or look at them dumbfounded, or are you going to jump in with both feet and have a good time with the questions?  (I thought Wonder Woman had the coolest power with her lasso of truth).

-- Interviews are always about selling yourself.  Whenever possible, answer questions with specific answers as a SHORT story.  Don’t tell your life story, but let the interviewer know that you are human.   Make yourself stand out in a positive way.  Make the interviewer remember you. 

-- Let’s break it down here… the interviewer wants to know what’s in it for him or her.  Sure, she’s asking YOU questions, but she’s asking YOU questions to find out how you are going to fill a need for HER.  Keep answers relevant to the position for which you are interviewing. 

-- Honesty is always the best policy.  It’s tempting to add a little extra padding to your resume.  The job market is tough and there are several qualified candidates for virtually every job.  Hypothetically, let’s say you add a little cushion to your experience… how is the cushion going to affect your life once it is discovered that you lied?   Is it worth risking your reputation with an untruth?  In every instance, it’s simply not worth it. 

After the interview, mail a Thank you card SPECIFICALLY to the person or people with whom you interviewed.  Make sure to mail an individual card for each person.  If you decide during the course of the interview that the position isn’t a fit for you, send a card thanking the interviewer(s) for their time.  If you would like to go to the next level in the interview process, thank the interviewer(s) and advise them again how they can reach you (phone and email address).   A handwritten thank you card will score even more points.

Use your personal brand and find a way to stand out.

www.your-personal-brand.com

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you.

Taking the High Road

Revenge.  Having the last word.  Being Right.  Justice.  There was a lot going on this past week.  I saw the headlines on the front page of USA Today in the Orlando airport, as I was returning from the very happy place of a 3 day Bahama cruise.  Talk about coming back to the real world in an abrupt way!  I wasn’t sure how to feel.  On one hand it was relief, and on the other, there was some sadness.  Call me a bleeding heart, I’ll own it.

My sister posted this quote on her Facebook page, which summed it up nicely for me:

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

No matter what he did in his life and how misguided he was, he had a mother and a father, he was a brother, a father, an uncle.  He was a man.  I’m sad for all those that suffered because of him and I’m sad that he was obviously a suffering man.

How to Envision Your Success

One of the catch phrases today is “visualization”.  Visualization has been around since the dawn of man, it just wasn’t always called “visualization”.  When I was a child, I was caught “daydreaming” more than once.  We can all admit to daydreaming at one time or another, about vacations, events or new careers.  I tend to liken daydreaming and visualization under similar schools of thought.   Daydreaming is less formalized than visualization, it happens pretty spontaneously, but we are still visualizing something. 

Envisioning success is no different than when we visualize anything else, but along life’s road, many of us have been taught not to daydream and so, many of us have lost sight of our dreams.  Many of us are fearful of envisioning our success because we’ve been taught that it’s somehow immature or out of reach.   

Without dreaming, how can we move ahead?  I don’t mean dreaming as if we’re all floating on purple and yellow clouds surrounded by circus clowns riding Hippopotami and singing “Candy Man”.  I mean dreams such as watching our children grow up.  Dreams that entail becoming more successful in your current position or obtaining one that makes you feel complete.  Dreams that allow you to look forward to retirement with security rather than trepidation.  Dreaming is part of envisioning.  In order to get a vision, we have to have an idea… dreams are ideas with emotion pushing them forward. 

Many of us have been taught to “play it safe” and maintain the status quo… whatever that is nowadays.  We’ve been taught to color inside the lines, think inside the box.  It’s time to bust out of the box, color all over the page and become the person that YOU are destined to be. 

This is one of the most exciting aspects of my job as a Certified Personal and Professional Coach.  I am given the honor of assisting people in learning to color using their own hues and their own templates.  Success is nothing more than being true to you and being happy with it. 

So, how do we go about envisioning our success?  Does all the previous “dream talk” have anything to do with reality.  YES!!!

In order to envision your success, there are 6 steps: 

1. What is YOUR definition of success?  This is where your dream comes in.  If you could dream up a world (keep it realistic… no living in Mario Brother’s world), what would it look like? 

a. Where would your world be located?  Your current neighborhood?  In the mountains?  By an ocean shore?  Next to your relatives?  Far from them? 

b. Who would YOU be?  I don’t mean physically, unless you are unhappy with yourself physically?  Most of us can come up with places we’d like to add to or subtract from ourselves physically, but I mean who are you in your heart?  What kind of person are you?  Who do you associate with? 

c. What do YOU do?  How do YOU define YOU in your dream?  Do you teach?  If so, what do you teach?  Do you work in an office building, at home, outside?  Do you have an office… with a door (sounds silly, but this was on my list of must have’s once upon a time)? 

Your world has to be created through a dream in order for you to define how you see yourself and the world in your vision of success.  I may think having a rock-star career is THE definition of success, whereas you may believe being a loving, caring mother is THE definition of success, yet another may believe that leaving everything behind and going to a country in dire need of compassion and love to live out the rest of her days is THE definition of success. 

2. Once you have your dream ironed out, then we can begin working on envisioning.   I am a firm believer in writing down what you want, but write them in present tense: 

a. I have two healthy, intelligent, well-behaved children. 

b. I own a business that allows me to travel with my family and live a life of financial freedom and happiness.

c. I am able to give freely of my time.

Write out these affirmations in detail.  Try not to leave anything out.  The color of your walls, what kind of desk, chair or supplies you have on your desk, what you wear to work, when you work, etc… Post your affirmations somewhere.  You want to see them.  You want to read them… often. 

3. Sit quietly, daily if you can, and pull your dream up, couple your dream with your affirmations.  In your mind’s eye, visualize yourself: 

a. Playing with your children.  Going on vacations with your children.  Watching your children graduate from college and going on to live THEIR definitions of successful lives.

b. Sitting in your home office making appointments to go to other states and then making travel arrangements.  Visualize going to… The Grand Canyon with your family because you happen to have a meeting in Arizona the same week your kids are out of school for Spring Break… AND you have the funds to comfortably take the family with you. 

c. Walking through a garden hand in hand with a young child and taking him to a table to eat a healthy meal.  Watch the twinkle in his eye.  Notice your heartbeat? 

4. Begin to create the habits of success.  Do you need an education?  Do you need to network with other people?  Do you need to spend time at a shelter?  Begin to live the life you see as a success in your mind. 

5. Journal… every day if possible.  Journal what you are doing on your journey.  What did you do today to bring you closer to your dream?  Journaling solidifies the vision. 

6. Get help if you need it.  We’ve been taught to play it safe.  It’s tough to break out of that mold sometimes. 

Envisioning your success really isn’t “difficult” but it can be hard to break out of old habits, form new ones, and forge ahead.  This is my passion.  This is what I love.  I live to be able to help others envision their passions, and then give them a hand up to first envision their success before they are living their success. 

Take Pride in the Little Things

The circle of life is amazing.  Each winter, we watch trees and animals crawl into hibernation.  We lock ourselves in our homes, turn up the thermostats, and grumble while we wait for spring. 

Once spring is sprung, we look around in amazement at all the changes in colors and sounds.  The world suddenly looks cleaner and crisper, but it’s not “all of a sudden”.  It’s not an overnight metamorphosis.  The change is small and gradual.

The ground warms a bit, the soil thaws.  The trees warm a bit, the buds sprout.  The days grow longer, the animals start their cycles of reproduction… tiny steps lead to an amazing orchestra of sights, sounds and scents that tickle our senses each and every year.  The same holds true in our own lives if we take the time and are aware enough to notice the little things. 

As adults, we assume so often that we’ve “maxed” out our abilities. We’ve reached the end of our roads and we’re not going to move ahead any further.  When I talk to folks who hold this opinion, I’m struck with a sense of challenge and a small bit of sadness (the challenge almost always overrides the sadness, however.)  We forget that we weren’t born running, reading, or working math problems.  We forget that our journey through life is a culmination of little things making up a larger package that we present to the world. 

When was the last time you noticed any of the following: 

-Your spouse made lunch for you? You made lunch for your spouse? Your spouse ran out and got you ice cream!

-Your children did a little extra chore… without being asked?

-You straightened a tie for a loved one?

-You held a door for someone?

-You gave a flower to a random person?

-You bought a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line at McDonalds?

Remember the movie “Pay It Forward”?  The entire theme of the movie was doing kind acts for others because it comes around.  Taking pride in little things is very much the same… when we take pride in little things, we realize there are a WHOLE LOT of little things in which to take pride, and voila, suddenly we have a life of which to be proud. 

Each of us can find something to be proud of within ourselves, our children or our communities.  Absolutely there are things that need rectified in all areas, but in finding a little bit of pride in little areas or with little achievements, we are motivated to look a little deeper and with kinder eyes at those around us. 

Coaches are human too

Since it is tax season, or rather, the end of it, I have a related story to share.

Being the good coach and role model, I like to stay on top of things and keep ahead of timelines.  Therefore, I sent all of my business tax information to my accountant way back in early February.  They eagerly prepared my return, since most people don't utilize them so early in the year and sent me my documents with 'sign here' stickers and addressed envelopes, just awaiting the signatures, postage and mailing.  Great!  Everything was read by March 1.

Fast forward to last night.  I was filling out an application for my business that required my accountants information.  I quickly went to my return to pull the information from the folder and quickly noticed that inside were my neatly prepared business tax returns, including the 'sign here' stickers and the addressed envelopes with instructions on sending the returns by April 18, 2011.  Last night, when I discovered this, it was April 19.  I had forgotten to actually mail the returns!

Don't look!  My humanity is showing! 

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Great customer service day at Office Max and Apple in Indy

Today was a beautiful day to start with, and it just kept getting better.  After landing a new client, I had some errands to run and made my first stop at Office Max on 86th St. to get a quote on binding some workbooks for my upcoming workshop, 'Your Personal Brand' for NAWBO at the end of the month.  They gave me several good options and I steered to the paper aisle to pick up some high quality printing paper, because I decided to do the actual printing myself to save some of the cost.  Matt, the Office Max employee, offered to help and pointed out a great paper that was buy 2, get one free.  I jumped on it and away I went.  I also wanted to find out how much the equipment would cost to do the binding of the notebooks myself.  I love being able to do projects on my own time!  Matt quickly found me searching again and pulled me to the correct aisle, showed me the equipment, pulled out the instructions and even showed me how easy it was to operate.  This was great, as the punch and bind systems don't look all that straight forward, if you've never done it before.  Again, I was impressed and decided it was well worth the investment, since it was so reasonably priced!  Great day!

My next stop was the Apple store for a spare power adapter for my new Mac.  There's nothing wrong with the one that come with my MacBook Pro, I just want an extra one for travel and the living room when I'm mobile.  I walked in and as usual, there is a sea of blue shirted young people spread throughout the store, helping every customer one on one.  I quickly went to the accessories wall and was greeted by one of them, asking what I was looking for.  I told him I just needed a power cord and pulled the 45W one off of the shelf that looked exactly like the one I have.  I thought I was done.  He asked me which computer I had, to which I replied 'the small laptop'.  Now I realize how stupid of an answer that is.  He led me over to the computers, pointed to the 13" MacBook Pro and asked me if that was the one.  Bingo--yes it is!  "Well," he said patiently, "then you will need the 60W power cord, not the 45", as he walked back over to the wall and pulled down the appropriate box.  Saved me a trip back to the store!

On top of that, he quickly found another blue shirted young man, and asked him if he could check me out.  "Of course," he said, and he proceeded to scan the item with his phone, tell me the total, scan my credit card, then asked me if I'd like a paper receipt, one mailed to my email address, or both.  All of this was achieved in the middle of the store without having to wait in a single line!  I couldn't believe it!  E-mail please!  What a concept!  I was in and out of that store within 5 minutes!  They know how to do customer service!!

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Everyone has a garden to grow

A note today from Mike Dooley's daily Universe message:

It's like everyone's given seeds that are capable of growing into the garden of their dreams, but no one's been told they even have them. Then, when they see their neighbor's garden growing, whether it's because their neighbor actually found their seeds or accidentally spilled them, there's a rush to see what's happening. In fact, whole industries are built around the buying, selling, and trading of other people's gardens. Agents are hired, sales teams assembled, and sometimes stocks and bonds are issued. Vendors compete, lawyers are hired, and accountants are sued. There are mergers and acquisitions, buyouts and takeovers, and of course 401k's, company picnics, and vacation days.

There are seeds that grow into private gardens. Seeds that grow into best sellers. And seeds that grow into happy families.

It's quite a riot, and often good fun, but would you believe that one of the biggest impediments one has to discovering their own seeds, these days, is their fascination with the gardens of others?

Hoe,
    The Universe

Can you conquer the world?

I recently read something that I think will change my life yet again.  This is really funny.  Not funny ha ha, but funny how God and the world works.  In my last Oprah magazine, there was a page of little magnets with words on them that you could separate, put on your refrigerator and make little sentences or statements.  I thought 'what a cute idea--I'll use them to post little messages to my husband'.  So I separated them, put them up and put together my first message.  This is what came to me as I scanned the different words.  "Can we conquer the world?"  I thought it was cute and would spark some conversation.  I soon forgot about it, left it on the refrigerator and moved on to the activities of life.

A day later, my daughter forwards to me this free e-book called "A brief guide to world domination, how to live a remarkable life in a conventional world" by Chris Guillebeau.  Coincidence huh?  I think not.  First of all Chris is a gifted writer.  I couldn't put it down and had to read it in one sitting (it's not that long).  I'm actually looking forward to reading it again because I know I only absorbed half of it (I'm a fast reader and sometimes comprehension suffers.)  In any case, here's a few quick tidbits that I found remarkable:

11 Ways to be unremarkably average

1.  Accept what people tell you at face value.

2.  Don't question authority.

3.  Go to college because you're supposed to, not because you want to learn something.

4.  Go overseas once or twice in your life, to somewhere safe like England.

5.  Don't try to learn another language; everyone else will eventually learn English.

6.  Think about staring your own business, but never do it.

7.  Think about writing a book, but never do it.

8.  Get the largest mortgage you qualify for and spend 30 years paying for it.

9.  Sit at a desk 40 hours a week for an average of 10 hours of productive work.

10.  Don't stand out or draw attention to yourself.

11.  Jump through hoops.  Check off boxes.

Now, let's admit it, this is true.  If you hit all of these, it doesn't mean you are bad, but just incredibly average.  If you enjoy being average and love your life that way, it's all good and you are by no means alone.  You are in very good company.

If that's not good enough for you, Chris challenges you to think about the answers to the two most important questions in the universe.

1.  What do you really want to get out of life?

What is your ultimate goal in life?  If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you do?  What would you love doing?

I know we may all have pondered this before, but do we really answer it and use it to guide our life's decisions (the scary part)?  Read his free e-book, you will be inspired.

2.  What can you offer the world that no one else can?

Another good question that we all stumble on.  Yet truly, we all have something to offer the world.  At the very least, pondering these questions will teach you more about yourself.

So---how are these questions changing my life?

Seriously,  I haven't taken the time to really answer both questions completely, but what struck me was the realization of how little I need in order to fulfill my purpose.  When I think about what I want to get out of life and what I offer, it really has little to do with money or material things.  So if you hear from me in the future that I am selling everything and going off to a third world country to build houses or teach English (and learn their language of course), you know where it started!  Now to break the news to Mark and have that conversation about conquering the world!

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

The Power Leader vs. The Servant Leader

I know you are probably already saying that "Of course, the only way to be successful is to be a leader of power---that's the only way it works right?"  I'm just sharing another point of view that is gaining more and more understanding and support as we see the power models crumble.

I'm again pulling concepts from the book, The Case for Servant Leadership by Kent M. Keith.  Here are some very simple ways to contrast the Power and Service Models:

Power
1.  Make people do things.
2.  Assumes hierarchy shaped like a pyramid, only the few at the top of the power.
3.  It's about grabbing.


Service.
1.  Help people do things.  They are typically facilitators, coordinators, healers, partners and relationship builder.
2.  Hierarchy doesn't matter, because anyone can be of service.  Anyone can be a service leader.
3.  It's about giving.

So now, many people will say, "Right, how well is that going to work, having no leader to make decisions?  That sounds like chaos to me."

Albert Einstein said, "The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule."

This kind of thinking has been around for a long time.  Why is it that we have to keep re-learning it?  I think a true leader is one that people want to follow.  Have you ever experienced a dictatorial type leader, where the entire function would follow them no matter what they did?  Isn't the sign of a good leader their followship (yes, I just made that word up)?  Have you ever experienced someone in your organization who did not have the high leadership position from the hierarchy, yet lots of people would follow them because they trust, admire, and genuinely respect them for their work and their values?  I bet if you polled the followers, you'd find out who your real leaders are!  Just something to think about.

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Gaddafi Leadership? What do you think?

"Leadership is not about the power of an individual, but rather, the good of all." The Case for Servant Leadership.

Looking at what is going on in Libya today, it's not hard to find a really good example of a leader who thinks it is about the power of an individual.  But even if we don't look at the extremes, can you find examples of this even within your own sphere of work and community?

Juana Bordas broke out 5 ways that leaders grow their communities by engaging people in her book Salsa, Soul and Spirit.  They are:

1)  encouraging participation and building consensus,
2)  creating a community of leaders,
3) generating a shared vision,
4) using culturally effective communication, and
5) weaving partnerships and connections.

In her view, leadership does not belong to any one person, but to the community it serves.  Therefore 'top' leadership positions are routinely rotated and it is expected that leaders only take their fair share like everyone else, they never take more of the community resources.

I know this may really rub some of us the wrong way, especially knowing how much time and energy it takes to build consensus when we just want someone to get in there, make a decision and do it!  It's just interesting to me to listen to others ideas and observe how it works differently in some cultures.  Bordas also points how this type of leadership is common to the Black, American Indian, and Latino cultures.  It's always good to understand where others may be coming from, don't you think?

I'm a big believer in incorporating the best behaviors, always learning from our experiences and constant improvement.  I just can't buy into the complete power model that we tend to gravitate to as Americans as being the absolute best we can be.  I hope we'll learn to incorporate more of the Servant Leadership model into our politics, companies and communities.  I know I can always start with me.

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

The Servant Leader

Is there a paradox here?  How can one lead and yet serve?  Do we think of a servant as a weakness in our definition of Leadership?

I just finished reading The Case for Servant Leadership by Kent Keith and there are so many juicy teachings on leadership in it that I can't fit them all into one blog.  So I'll be incorporating them over the next few weeks.

Servant Leadership instead of autocratic rule is not new.  It's been around since before 490 B.C. as depicted in the Tao Te Ching which says

The highest type of ruler is one of whose existence the people are barely aware.

Next comes one whom they love and praise.

Next comes one whom they fear.

Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

I'm sure you can think of examples of each of these types of leaders, especially in our world today.  What kind of leader are you? 

When the best rulers achieve their purpose

their subjects claim the achievement as their own.

~Peter Merel

Another paradox of the Servant Leader is that power can be gained without seeking it.  

...[T]rue power comes from the people.  It comes from gaining the trust and support of the people who then give you the power.  Power is like love.  The more you try to give it to others, the more it just seems to flow to you naturally.  

~James Autry

Conversely, when a leader tries to grab power, there is a constant fight to keep it.  After all, if it was grabbed once, it can be grabbed again.  So once you grab it, you hold on for dear life and continuously protect your turf.  Does any of this sound or look familiar to your work place?

Let me just say this about leadership.  It's all about the love, love, love. 

Now this doesn't mean that caring about people means that you keep people who are in the wrong job or the wrong company.  No, sometimes caring about people means that you need to let them go so they can find the best fit for them and be happier in their life's purpose.  But a good leader will always ask themselves when faced with a tough decision, am I doing this for me (my ego), for them (the people), or for the enterprise?

www.greenleaf.org

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

How I use Facebook

Facebook has become my favorite social media tool.  It amazes me, especially after watching 'The Social Network', that this was developed as a way to connect the college crowd and has grown and evolved into an effective mechanism to aid in political revolutions!

Now I am no where near an expert user, but I know I use it more than a most of my age demographic.  I first started my facebook endeavor to just keep up with my kids.  As they moved on to college and beyond, I wanted to be able to watch what was going on in their lives and in the lives of their friends.  I quickly realized I could connect with my friends who were doing the same things.  I started looking for people, from my current friends and colleagues, to people from my past.  At one point, I got out a junior high year book and just started typing names in to see who was connected.

Now some may say---why are you doing that?  If you weren't current friends, why do you want to connect now?  My answer?  Lots of reasons.  Here's just a few awesome reasons that I've connected with my facebook pals:

1.  I love to relate to others and I learn from them.  I love to see what's going on in their lives.

2.  People post great things--funny videos, learning posts, though you need to be careful what you believe!

3.  You can ask your friends questions---and get answers! "Hey, anybody know someone who works at ABC company--I need a contact! or Anybody know a good caricature artist?"  I got answers in less than an hour.  It's like having all of your friends and connections in one huge room!

4.  I keep up with the Virtual Pub-where you can enjoy some good music memories while drinking your beverage of choice-check out Kirk Brewster (https://www.facebook.com/kirk.brewster)

5.  I get to see pictures of friends and family that I'd never have access to.

6.  I am constantly reassured that my son is alive, since he updates his FB page more than he calls  home.

7.  I love to share good articles that I find around communication, leadership and personal growth.

8.  I can keep up, even just a little, with friends who've moved away or relatives in different cities and states, share the grief of losing a loved one and share tribute with others to their life.

9.  I've even gotten business from my page.

10.  Wow, I could go on and on.

Still---I'm no expert.


Did I mention that my 77 year old father-in-law has an iphone?  I'm not there yet.

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

Accountability

Lack of accountability can be debilitating to an organization.  When others see that there are no consequences to poor behavior or poor performance, general morale is negatively affected.  In addition, I’m sure we can all think of times when we haven’t held ourselves accountable either.

Accountability can easily be related to following through on a goal.  Goals are SMART (http://lynnzettler.blogspot.com/2010/12/goal-setting.html), and holding people accountable is SIMPLE (http://www.communicoltd.com/pages/338_holding_others_accountable_is_simple.cfm).

S:  Set Expectations:  make sure everyone is on the same page. It’s not realistic to think the lines of communications will communicate expectations magically.  Write down what is expected.  EXPECT people to line up behind the decisions. 

I:  Invite commitment:  Hold meetings to make sure everyone understands how meeting goals will benefit the individual as well as the team. Most of us are willing to commit to something providing we understand what it is we’re committing to, and how it will benefit us.

M:  Measure Progress: every goal should have mile-markers.  Running a race is no fun unless we know how far we’ve gone, and how much further is left before the finish line.  Goals are the same. 

P:  Provide Feedback:  Share results.  Don’t hold the successes close to your chest.  Don’t keep the challenges a secret.  Let everyone who is expected to participate, know where they stand as well as where the group stands. 

L:  Link to consequences:  I don’t mean to belittle anyone, but all of us are motivated if we think there is a consequence. Consequence is seen as a negative, but in reality, consequences can be positive or negative.  If a goal is not hit then the consequences are….  If a goal is hit, the consequences are….  If a goal is exceeded, then the consequences are…. Maybe it’s best to use the word “reward” to get across the positive.

E:  Evaluate Effectiveness:  What worked?  What didn’t work?  It’s only fair to put it all on the line and evaluate what we need to do better or what worked well. 

What role do you play in keeping yourself and others accountable?

Tips to Effective Email Management

Email management is essentially time management.  We communicate through email, in many instances, more than we communicate in person or over the telephone.  We typically don't decide one day just not to answer emails, nor do we typically dedicate an entire day to answering emails for the week.  If your email is anything like mine, you may have hundreds show up over the course of just a few days.  So, what do we do to keep it all under control?

If you have an email tool such as MS Office Outlook or Lotus Notes, your world may be a little easier, but these tools aren’t absolutely necessary, just handy.

1.        Schedule time to read and respond to emails.  If you need two or three hours a day, schedule them, spread them out.  Focus only on getting through your email during these times.  Mark the times out on your calendar and treat this time as you would a business meeting.  This is YOUR time to take care of email.

2.       I found in an article online that classifying email as either “reference” or “action” can save up to fifty minutes per day when trying to file or find an email.  Classify every email (excluding junk and spam) as either a reference email, or an action email.  There is software available on the market for this, but you can build your own system easily enough.

3.       Work the emails in order. Don’t skip around.  However you have them sorted in your inbox, stick to it and work from the top down (or bottom up if that is your system).  Doing this will prevent you from overlooking or deleting something important.

4.       Made a decision on every email. Don’t mark them to read later, or mark them as new because you don’t have time to work through them… make a decision.  Can the task be done in two minutes or less?  Set up folders within your email and slip the emails into the correct folders: 

a.       Delete—junk.  If you don’t need it, don’t keep it.  Your memory on your computer or your IT team will appreciate this.

b.      Delegate – the joys of having a semblance of power (whether perceived or real).  If someone else can take care of a task (and it is within your reach to do so), delegate the task to her.  Make sure you follow up (which may require a flag of some sort so that the task doesn’t fall through the cracks.)

c.       Get it done – this is where the two minute rule comes into play.  If a task must be completed by you, and you cannot get it completed within two minutes, slide the email into this folder.  These tasks are to be completed after the other emails have been sorted.

d.      Work in progress.  If you’re working on something, keep it in here until it’s completed.
I have to constantly remind myself not to jump onto my email until the designated time because it is so easy to get lost in the whirl of communication.  Roughly 100 emails can be processed in an hour once you have a system in order to work through them.  Hang in there, establish your rules, and hop on it.  The time you save can be spent on something far more exciting!

www.lynnzettler.com

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

A two-year olds favorite word

No.  It seems so simple, doesn’t it? How many times, as a child, were we told “no” for everything from touching the hot stove to hanging out at the mall with friends instead of spending time with the family.  As an adult, how often do you say no? 

 The older we get, the wiser we get, and the more difficult it is to tell someone that we just can’t do “fill in the blank” for whatever reason. Does that make sense?

-“Can you head up this project?”

-“Would you be the President of the PTA?”

-“Can you be in charge of the fund raiser this year?”

-“Would you mind heading up the car pool?”

-“Would you coach the basketball team again this year?”

Now before all of the volunteers get upset and worried that they won't have enough help for good causes, let me specify what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about people who overextend themselves, who over commit and over schedule.  They never say no.  Then they beat themselves up about it afterward or blame others for putting them in the situation.  I'm talking about Joe, at work, who constantly complains about his workload, but won't delegate anything to anyone else either.  And Sally, who won't disappoint her kids ever, so she volunteers for everything from soccer mom to planning every class party at the grade school.

In our minds, we know that we're being stretched, in some cases to a near breaking point, by taking on more and more responsibilities. Why don't we  just say “no”? It’s not that we don’t know HOW to tell someone “no.” One of the first words we learn as children is “no.” We don’t say “no,” most of the time, because we are afraid of something.  We’re afraid of disappointing someone, of being looked at in a negative light, of missing the positive feeling of being the person depended upon, or of giving up control.

Is there truly a quick and easy way to tell someone “no”? Easy is really a matter of perspective. If we’ve spent our life doing something one way, and suddenly, we wish to change our pattern, it won’t be easy, but it can be simple:

1. Never to be rude. Never tell a lie. Do be firm and sympathetic: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time this year to be the room-mother.  Thanks for asking.”

2. There are people out there who are simply not trained in personal communication, and they will put on the full court press to get something out of us.  It’s O.K. to tell someone: “Let me check my schedule and see if I can help, but I can’t commit right now.” This will give them a chance to find someone else who may have more time to assist.   After all, someone else may be waiting for their turn to shine, and your perpetual volunteering is getting in their way!

3. “I really can’t make the costumes for the book parade, but I’d be more than happy to pick up some juice and cupcakes.” It’s all right to volunteer for something else instead.

Each of us only has 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours to a day.   Some of us believe that we can cram more than that into our lives somehow.  That’s when we ultimately pay a price through our health, relationships and dissatisfaction both professionally and personally.  Is that the kind of example we want to set for our next generation?  Saying “no” may be the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.  Remember the two-year old!


Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com