Why Do I Do This?

How often do you sit alone in a room or in your vehicle and ask yourself, “Why do I do this?  Why do I make the mistakes I make over and over again?  Why do I continue to go back to a job that leaves me wanting something bigger in life?  Why do I not sign up for the classes that I know will propel me towards my goals?”

Why do I refuse to accept that my fears of success, as well as failure, hold me back? 

Why do I do this?  Why do I not make the changes necessary to move me ahead?  Why do I not accept that I am able, and more importantly, worthy of the greatness each of us are worthy of? 

FEAR.  I found a quote by Roseanne Cash when I started writing this article that says, “The key to change is to let go of fear.”  How true is that?  How much do we NOT accomplish in our day to day lives because we hold onto fear like a favorite Teddy Bear or old T-Shirt?  Sometimes it’s simply easier to cling to the fear that holds us back than it is to let go and trust that we can do what we’re destined to do. 

It’s normal to sit back and ask, “Why do I do this?”  I’ve asked myself as well.  

That's the question I asked myself when I realized that I wanted to start a coaching business six years ago and founded (www.lynnzettler.com).  I still ask myself that question, but the answer is now that I want to be the Personal Executive and Business Coach who specializes in accelerating growth for clients who want more from their business, their team and their life.

I do what I do now because:

-        I have faith that if people desire changes in their lives and if they have someone to believe in them, they can accomplish just about anything. 

-        I believe that with someone in your corner to help analyze where you are in life and identify the areas you wish to see change, you will be the change that you want to see in the world. 

-        If you can discover that which brings your life the greatest sense of accomplishment and make THAT your reality and challenge you to be your absolute best, you can in turn set an example for others.  

My journey hasn’t always been easy.  It took some ups and downs to figure out where I wanted to be.  When I ask myself now, “Why do I do this?” I can answer with a great deal of certainty that I do this to help others find what I’ve found. 

Why do you do what you do?  I'd love to hear.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com

The Art of Listening

“Are you listening to me?”  How many times have we been asked this question?  If you are like me and the vast majority of other people, you’ve been asked this or some semblance of it more than several times during the course of your adult life.  We all want to be heard.  We all want people to listen to US when we’re speaking, but how much effort do WE put into listening to OTHERS? 

I read an article that stated we only hear (understand or comprehend) 25% - 50% of what is said to us.  That means we discount or ignore the remaining 50% - 75%.  How do we go about listening to others?  How do we go about having our audience listen to us? 

1. We have only one mouth and two ears.  We should be doing twice as much listening as talking.  I’d like to take credit for that, but everyone reading this would know I was being more than dishonest if I said that was my original thought.  The first step to perfecting the art of listening is closing your mouth and opening your ears.  Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? 

2. When appropriate, paraphrase what is being said. This may be a little tougher to learn to do because if it’s done in excess, you may appear to be patronizing the person with whom  you're having a conversation.  Being able to paraphrase only what is important is a fine talent to hone. It also ensures that you're on the same page!

3. Lean in to listen.  Body language says an awful lot.  If you’re leaning back in your seat, slumped over, eyes gazing everywhere but on your conversation partner(s), it’s obvious you are not listening.  Don’t invade the other person’s space but lean in a bit and and maintain eye contact. 

4. Nod now and then or give some signal of recognition.  This simply lets the other person know that you are paying attention.  It indicates a level of engagement that isn’t over the top. 

5. Keep in mind that with the vast amount of knowledge you hold, the person with whom you are speaking has a vast amount of knowledge as well.  Deep down, we’re all looking out for ourselves…what can you gain from the other person?  If you are only half listening, you’re missing out on valuable insights. Don't focus on your response, instead, really listen to them.

6. Slow down.  Think before you speak.  Think before you act. 

7. Ask others if they believe you are a good listener.  Find out why they do or do not believe you are a good listener.  Be prepared to be knocked back on your hind end if you believe you are a good listener, though.  If, or when, someone shares with you that you could use some improvement, LISTEN to the feedback. 

8. Ask questions when appropriate.  If you’re confused about something, you appear far more engaged if you politely ask questions to clarify.  This will save face in the long run in many ways. 

9. Be patient.  Allow the other person to complete her thoughts.  So often we believe that we can complete the thoughts for the other person.  Not only is this rude, it can be hurtful to the other person. 

10. Find someone to help teach you to listen.  Monet picked up a brush and started creating wonderful works of art, but I’d be hard pressed to believe that he never stepped into a classroom to learn a bit about technique.  Even the greatest artists had lessons from someone. 

All of us are born with innate talents and gifts.  Unfortunately, the vast majority cannot count listening as one of our talents without hard work and a dedication to being a better listener.  When in doubt, think back to the anatomy of your head… two ears, one mouth.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com

Notice the Little Things

It's almost summer and it always makes me realize the amazement of the circle of life.  Each winter, we watch trees and animals crawl into hibernation.  We lock ourselves in our homes, turn up the thermostats, and grumble while we wait for spring. 

Once spring is sprung, we look around in amazement at all the changes in colors and sounds.  The world suddenly looks cleaner and crisper, but it’s not really “all of a sudden”.  It’s not an overnight metamorphosis.  The change is small and gradual over a 3 month span.

The ground warms a bit, the soil thaws.  The trees warm a bit, the buds sprout.  The days grow longer, the animals start their birds and bees--you know what I mean… tiny steps lead to an amazing orchestra of sights, sounds and scents that tickle our senses each and every year.  The same holds true in our own lives if we take the time and are aware enough to notice the little things. 

As adults, we assume so often that we’ve “maxed” out our abilities. We’ve reached the end of our roads and we’re not going to move ahead any further.  When I talk to folks who hold this opinion, I’m struck with a sense of challenge and a small bit of sadness (the challenge almost always overrides the sadness, however.)  We forget that we weren’t born running, reading, or working math problems.  We forget that our journey through life is a culmination of little things making up a larger package that we present to the world. 

When was the last time you noticed any of the following: 

-Your spouse made lunch for you? You made lunch for your spouse?

-Your children did a little extra chore… without being asked?

-You straightened a tie for a loved one?

-You held a door for someone?

-You gave a flower to a random person?

-You bought a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line at McDonalds?

Remember the movie “Pay It Forward”?  The entire theme of the movie was doing kind acts for others because it comes around.  Taking pride in little things is very much the same… when notice and appreciate the little things, we realize there are a WHOLE LOT of little things and voila, suddenly we have a life of filled with gratitude. 

Each of us can find something to be grateful for within ourselves, our children or our communities.  With the recognition of the little achievements, we're motivated to look a little deeper and with kinder eyes at those around us. 

The electronic disconnection experiment

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1152

We just returned from a 10 day vacation with the kids.  Traveling together can be a challenge when you ask for 6 internet passwords for one villa.  It becomes apparent very quickly as you are all staring at eachother across from your laptops, that this is not what vacation is meant to be.  So Mark and I did our best to electronically disconnect and implement some teachings from Timothy Ferriss who wrote The 4-Hour Workweek, including disconnecting from e-mail and embarking on a low information diet.  Here's what happened:

• Mark totally disengaged from answering e-mails for 7 days, then batched his e-mail and took care of over 600 e-mails in just 2.5 hours.  If he would have been keeping up with mail daily, it would have seriously eaten into his vacation time and his enjoyment.  There wasn't a single message that required an immediate response.  We've grown accustomed to treating e-mail like it's a dialogue or instant message.  We need to use it more effectively and for what it was meant to be used for.  His next step is to attempt this during the work week as well.  He figures that taking care of daily e-mail has prevented him from working on higher priority work.  The experiment will continue...

• I don't get nearly as many e-mails as Mark, but I have turned off my e-mail notification sound and my automatic e-mail retrieval.  I now have to manually download new e-mail and have been attempting to do this twice a day, and never on the weekends.   One of the rules of Timothy Ferriss is never to check your e-mail first thing in the morning.  It distracts you from what you want to accomplish that day.  Do your big work first and check e-mail at lunch and towards the end of the day.  I have found this to be very true.  Again, there is no e-mail that cannot wait a few hours.  I didn't miss any big, fantastic job opportunities or critical communications.  Mostly I missed a lot of junk mail and a few clients who needed rescheduling.  I was still able to get the rescheduling done within the desired time frame and respond to those that needed a response.

• Our low news diet prevented us from knowing:
• Who won the Indy 500 immediately.
• Whether Sarah Palin has finally announced whether she'll run for President.
• About the storms coming through Indy and whether our house was injured (what are we going to do about it from Mexico anyway?)
• About the twisters in the midwest and the damage and human cost they caused.
• That Lindsay Lohan was placed on house arrest.
• That Libyan general and soldiers defected to Italy.
• That Lady Gaga was on The View.
• What happened on Oprah's last show.
• Who was selected as the next American Idol.

As you can see, nothing that really affected us in any real and immediate way.   Amazing!  Let the experiment continue!  We had a great time.

Remember to spend some quality time on you!

www.lynnzettler.com

www.your-personal-brand.com